I Won’t Respond to Your Email Right Away

I’ll make you wait

If I respond now you’ll think, “This person has nothing better to do than to respond to emails, they’re obviously not busy and deserves to be fired.”

I’m going to play it cool and respond in a few hours. That way you’ll think I’ve taken time to process your query, and answer in a thoughtful manner.

If your email was urgent it wouldn’t be email. It’d be written in your blood and pinned to my forehead.